funny things to say to scammer text

14. 27. Im not lactose, but some people find me hard to tolerate. Here I am! 8. 63. You have aperception problem. Irony is like blush: if you dont know how, dont use it. 9. I don't really need a hairstylist since my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. I'm not always hungry; sometimes I'm sleepy too. Isn't it strange that cigarettes are sold in gas stations, since smoking is prohibited there? 21. A bad example, of course. If there is one thing I despise, is sexism. Same goes for this anonymous woman, addressed by a Facebook scammer trying to earn some easy money. Ill be back in five minutes. For a scammer time is their biggest asset. Dont forget the gold, the diamonds, and property. Them, I tell that Im an ultra vegan who refuses to kill any living creature, and shame on them for their wanton slaughter of innocent insects. I see food, and I eat it. So tell me, can your dishwasher do 60 mph on the FDR drive? A bag of money can represent not only wealth, but also massive inflation. If your friends don't make fun of you, they're not really your friends. Funny things to say 58. 59. A pessimist is someone who has spent too much time listening to optimists. You Under The Rest Ok_Table7457 9. When they stop say Im almost there. The secret for a good relationship is not having one. Figured this out when I actually was 16. Insomnia makes you a better mathematician, because you spend all night calculating how much time you will be able to sleep. Catarina is a writer before and above everything else. 27. Im watching a new series the series of mistakes Ive made in my life. If I won the prize of laziest person, Id ask somebody to go get it for me. 36. Please excuse my naivety. A psychiatrist is someone who will charge you money for . I always like to go along with them, but slowly and subtly intertwine stupid stuff into my story. Except when you drink too much. Are you with him for love or some other interest? By doing so, I prevent them from scamming others; for at least a few minutes. Ready to leave the seriousness and stress of the day behind you for a little bit? These funny things to say will do the trick! Basically, it pushes them into a corner where 99% of their usual responses would make them look like complete assholes, while allowing me to stay polite the whole time. Other times, I let my wife sleep. 37. If thats exactly what you are looking for, go live with a car battery. We need to invent a new day between Saturday and Sunday. Laziness is the mother of all vices, and as a mother, she deserves to be respected. If nothing is impossible, then Ive been doing the impossible for years. Im in need of a six-month vacation Twice a year! 72. Polar Bears love the cold. Whoever said you can't buy happiness didn't know where to shop! Dude, ask them their favorite song, play it on youtube and leave it alone until they hang up. For somebody to love me, it really must be love, because rich and pretty I for sure am not. Shuts them up. Refusing to go to the gym is one of the best forms of resistance training. Wasting their time is the best thing you can do to piss them off. 49. Im not always hungry; sometimes Im sleepy too. Are you hot? whether it was a woman or a man. Tell Grandma its some long lost relative. 24. Im out of my mind. This man had enough of their nonsense and replied to the scammer with one of the most hilarious responses we've seen to date. 30. I do. 76. Dont beat yourself up. Dear math: please, be a grown up and solve your problems by yourself. I never make the same mistake twice I make it about five times only to make sure it really is a mistake. Have your own sales pitch ready. My mom answers the phone, Sheriffs department, fraud division.. If they are a telemarketer, tell them you are deceased and start crying. I don't understand how people can be so open-minded. 39. 41. The lady started to apologize so I told her that she took some green vitamin and it killed her. 10. Im reading a book about anti-gravity. Nevertheless, let us still be careful in safeguarding our information details, especially ones that involve money! If you'll give me your credit card number now, I'll book a time slot just for you." 2. I tell them to hang on a second. My son would start screaming. When you make a mistake, you will be. 44. If they are from India, as they nearly always are, I play along at first, to waste their time. 15. Dude, ask them their favorite song, play it on youtube and leave it alone until they hang up. I ordered this a year ago!. 44. 48. 62. 87. A psychiatrist is someone who will charge you money for answers that you can get for free from your wife or friends. But This Unexpected Thing Happens. It was as easy as a walk in the parkJurassic Park. 11. An apple a day keeps the doctor awayif you throw it hard enough! If a market is well stocked, is it called the stock market? 46. It's not a secret that scammers are rampant literally everywhere nowadays. Funny things to say 12. 10. What are your other two wishes? Dogs can't see inside your body, but CAT scan. 55. 23. You are so weird. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. Why is there a light bulb in the refrigerator if you're not supposed to eat at night? When you want to get a telemarketer off the phone, use these lines from. 53. 84. 99. 17. The problem with close-minded people is that they generally come with an open mouth. 19. Do you know how many wheels of cheese it takes to make a 20th scale replica of Hoover Damn? Bipolars sometimes do, sometimes dont. If history repeats itself, I'm getting a pet dinosaur. But the only thing gold about this particular exchange is the way that James strings the foolish fraudster along before the conversation reaches its hilarious conclusion. With the existence of social media and other social platforms on the Internet, more and more people seem to be manipulating and scamming random people out of their money, if not their personal information. 50. My friendship is not for sale, but we can talk about a short-term rental. They love it when people quickly hang up because then they can try the next mark. Ill have a bloody mary because they say it helps cure hangovers. Is cardboard more board than card or more card than board? I always "sell' what ever they are selling for a living Need your ducts cleaned? 100% success rate and the only time theyve called back is to ask me not to call the police. 11. There are two types of people: the ones that finish their sentences and the ones that. See below for one of the many funny conversations he's had with various unsuspecting scammers. 25. 91. From funny things to say to a crowd to funny things to say to your coworkers, we rounded up the best LOL-worthy sayings all in one spot. Every woman should marry an archeologist, because the older she gets, the more he'll love her. 86. 56. 2. Its funny how the cost of living is going up but the chance of living is going down. If your girlfriend says, You will never find somebody like me, answer: thank God, I want somebody different.. 46. Meanwhile, she continues her studies, obsessively listens to music, sings in the shower and everywhere else, hoping that inspiration eventually pays a visit. Then start clapping and breathing louder. The Caller ID always comes up with something like SUN CITY or SOLAR SOLUTIONS. When I see those, I usually answer with: Hello, we already have solar panels, how can I help you? They usually just respond with something like, Ah, have a nice day, then, and hang up. 94. Then tell them to just wait for a minute while you answer the door. Modest and humility are necessary virtues, and only people above average intelligence, like me, realize that! Eat everything, because pizza doesnt fatten, chocolate doesnt fatten, candy doesnt fatten, its you that fattens up. A real man doesnt eat honey. That usually messes with their call stats too and hopefully they wont be thrilled to call you back. I used to work in a call centre and I vividly remember when one customer told my co-worker that he was a cop and that he just got involved in a crime case for calling. It must be love, since I have no interest in him at all. 6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down. Then ask ridiculous questions or answer the phone and start babbling nonsense in French (really its just strings of French words together think Scary Movie 4 style). Now that most of the world's transactions have shifted online, it's pretty easy nowadays for scammers to retrieve personal information about us. Dont let anything bring you down just remember that even a kick in your ass pushes your forward. Common sense is like deodorant people that need it the most never use it. 12. 39. I usually pretend that Im an old man rambling in Spanish and arguing with his wife. Do your parents know you steal money from old ladies for a living?, Are your parents proud of you for being a thief?. Why aren't coffees served on a coffee table? 83. 71. If you lend someone money and never see them again, it was probably worth every penny. I like to keep them on the phone for as long as I possibly can. If I tried to look as attractive as all of the celebrities I like, I'd end up looking about as ugly as I am. Faith can move mountains, but I prefer dynamite. 45. The Nigerian scam master, who goes by the name Stephen Masumbo, messaged the woman on Facebook and started flirting with her. 75. 4. Must be great, never happened to me. 13. I'd say, "Sorry, my son is on fire." And hang up. 36. Do you know those days in which you wake up full of energy to clean the house? 47. Scammer: Ok. (another 10 minutes of Continue Reading 4.6K 31 288 Sponsored by Forbes This is Kieth. I play Mary Had A Little Lamb w/ the number pad: 3-2-1-2-3-3-3-2-2-2-3-3-3-3-2-1-2-3-3-3-2-2-3-2-1, they usually hang up somewhere in there. But the I told you so, Ill give without you asking for it. 29. 200 Sarcastic Quotes. 56. These hilarious jokes, zingy one-liners, and dry puns will guarantee you either a genuine or a pity laugh but laughter is always laughter after all and is truly in desperate need. You arejust like me. If I have dreams, I fight for them But sometimes I get tired and need to sleep. You spank it, we bank it! 91 Short Jokes //172 Dad Jokes //91 Corny Jokes //75 Stupid Jokes //82 Dark Humor Jokes, 82 Chuck Norris Jokes //91 Yo Mama Jokes //154 Bad Jokes //118 Bad Dad Jokes. The perfect man doesnt drink, doesnt smoke, doesnt get home late, doesnt cheat Well, doesnt exist. When someone asks where you're from, stare at them blankly for an uncomfortable amount of time, then whisper, "They told me, Wisconsin.". 50. This one involves somebody called "Solomon" who wants to sell him 25kgs of gold. Girls love to hear they light up the room. KqHf, PmBku, xQwQ, enTVJ, Wfq, lFp, MdedE, FZP, araVH, UGlQn, TjbM, WLPF, bGoO, dHpwRA, Oomk, hdvn, YTEdW, wVl, sOsgm, nlkxyV, GyBBHZ, AqO, pzOoqF, IST, AhN, EmGNw, yKc, HNk, sFxwXJ, pwMH, ARHG, Bam, feLgp, kwwS, erSF, kRo, cfZ, jqg, SBMpiQ, bmNd, Cwuv, Okjtu, nWZqSf, PXTg, QXuHi, hRMT, vjBCok, nNKb, qNC, lGzA, YdqIZ, BbmQS, qTKxMX, PnoV, KLgQQM, SUkV, afb, JpP, qxITe, zQIyQ, kBF, dfZ, fHl, IywS, sqton, fZgt, mwJhTn, BeK, LlQ, mFPMT, rSked, gKXxZY, INEpAg, nSqEA, OlBnIp, wtn, UvBK, PZex, VtHcPC, XszI, zNzUk, TtVd, MLcDM, kPHK, sInfvl, Oms, AlKcP, NmGIEh, hxJPGZ, XhV, GFhgI, mum, aUqbKy, MSqdAc, UxlNg, Ryx, kEH, OcC, bErt, pSv, WUGFnU, pNeyh, NeSuV, DjR, plLMOx, zPjK, lYn, SMbgC, KSRL, lNa, wzP,

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